By Peter Adebi, MSA, SPHR

Many people avoid conflict because they do not understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict. Some workers are so concerned about harming their relationships and potentially their careers that they would endure untold hardship or keep their opinions to themselves even when they know the organization is heading down the wrong path. Others refrain from conflict due to concern about the “maturity” level of the opposing party. They fear any conflict might degenerate into an unhealthy confrontation. What they might not understand is that the continued success of any organization depends on the willingness of its workers to participate in healthy conflict. There are significant benefits to healthy conflict, and to those we will now turn.

Healthy Conflict
Healthy conflict occurs when individuals of diverse backgrounds and personalities are able to speak candidly about matters of interest to them, ask difficult questions, challenge ideas and propositions that do not seem right to them, and work together to achieve optimal solutions in a mutually respectful manner.  

In a healthy conflict situation, dialogue is encouraged and negative or disrespectful behaviors such as jabs, put downs, inappropriate jokes, mean, nasty, or demeaning remarks are not accepted. There is no reprisal or threat of reprisal for speaking up or pushing back on an idea. The essence of discussing differences is to achieve superior business outcomes, not to identify the more adroit speaker or embarrass a team member or score some other point.

Behaviors in healthy conflict
These behaviors are critical in creating the right environment for healthy conflict:

• Focus on substance or problem not person or the other party. Understand that the situation is not about you or me, it’s about the problem.
• Assume good intentions. It’s easy to make stuff up if you think the other party is out to get you. Both parties should assume good intentions. Assume that the other party means well, that he or she is seeking optimal solution. If your argument would potentially lead to a better outcome, make your case when you meet to discuss differences.
• Take the time to research their position or argument and present facts or data in a respectful, convincing manner. Personal accountability is a big part of achieving healthy conflict, and it is up to you to present your perspective in a clear and convincing manner.
• Be open and willing to consider the merits of alternative arguments. In doing so, you acknowledge the possibility that the other person might have an idea or perspective that you did not consider. This behavior signifies openness, humility and respect for the other party.
• Parties involved have enough awareness to understand when emotions are rising (e.g., changes in tone of voice and body language) and know when to stop a conversation to prevent a counterproductive event from occurring.

Benefits of Healthy Conflict
Important benefits of healthy conflict include the following:

Increased understanding: The discussion that occurs in the process of resolving differences expands people's awareness of the situation, giving them an insight into how they can achieve their own goals without undermining those of others.

Increased group cohesion: When conflict is resolved effectively, team members can develop stronger mutual respect and a renewed faith in their ability to work together.

Improved self-knowledge: Conflict pushes individuals to examine their goals in close detail, helping them understand the things that are most important to them, sharpening their focus, and enhancing their effectiveness. It also causes people to confront their responses to conflict. They can choose to stick with those responses or challenge themselves to come up with better ones.

Potentially better decisions: Imagine if participants representing a large and vulnerable constituency in an important decision chose to keep silence throughout the discussions for fear of conflict. The group would miss opportunities for important input and comments and might end up with a devastating decision that could have been mitigated.

Healthy conflict enables you to build trust, resolve doubts, and see the good side of the other person. It turns a potential enemy into a friend or respected ally. What’s more, it helps you to be attentive to the other person’s preferences and pet peeves.

 To experience more of this topic or to purchase our self-directed seminar on conflict resolution, click on the following link: http://starleadership.us/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage.tpl&product_id=20&category_id=1&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=56 You may also contact by email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it